SYDNEY AIRPORT, AUSTRALIA - 1st February 2010
continuing from Part I...
Surprisingly enough, little has changed here in Sydney Airport in the 17 days since I was last here, and most importantly there are still free internet terminals for crucially important tasks like this blog.
The last sentence is, for those of you impervious to written irony, a total lie, made poignantly clear when placed next to the genuinely crucial task facing me presently - attempting to book my ferry from Buenos Aries to Colonia del Sacramento (in Uruguay) for this afternoon (which, adjusting for time zones, is 5am tomorrow Sydney time). Ridiculous time calculations aside, it's a simple enough job - my Qantas flight lands at 10am local time in BA, and want to get on the 4.15pm ferry to Colonia that arrives at 5.30pm. Should be simple enough task, given the sleek website and English option... but naturally, things don't work so easily.
For reasons unknown, I am able to register my name, identification details, choose my ferry crossing, and get to the penultimate page of the booking process, only to have to stupid system refuse to accept that I've input any passenger details... regardless how many times I re-type them right there and then. There's no choice but to give up... but if I land in BA in 13 hours time to discover that that ferry is fully booked, there's gonna be one angry backpacker and an inevitable literary litany to follow.
First though, it's time to cross the Pacific!
Showing posts with label Sydney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sydney. Show all posts
Monday, 1 February 2010
Sunday, 31 January 2010
Down Under: Conclusions
AUCKLAND AIRPORT, NORTH ISLAND, NEW ZEALAND - 31st January 2010
2 months ago I was in Singapore, having kicked off my world tour with 7 weeks in India and getting ready to head Down Under. Anyone following The Daily Rod can probably appreciciate that it has been one hell of a 2 months - pound for pound the busiest, most action-packed time period of my life and, almost certainly, the most expensive. As this chapter of my travels draws to a close though, a few Antipodean reflections and conclusions are surely in order.
1. Driving
Visualizar Gap Year - New Zealand em um mapa maior
As the blue lines in the above map illustrate, I did one hell of a lot of driving in New Zealand. A recent blog covered various aspects of my driving experiences, in particular relation to Kiwis' inabilty to maintain decent speeds around corners, but there are other more general oddities to be beheld when cruising around their streets. Most strange is a law that bans parking on the wrong side of the street - that is parking your car facing forwards on the right side of the road (i.e. against the direction of traffic). Admittedly with so few people and so few cars, lack of parking space isn't a massive issue, but the rationale of "this law was introduced to prevent many accidents that take place" is pretty galling - a better idea would be to teach drivers to use their mirrors/eyes/generally look where they're going and save yourself a lot of hassle. The fact that the above quote was from an official note that was placed on my windscreen in Fox Glacier - a town with a population of about 100, on a street with about 10 cars parked on it, says more than enough about the resources being wasted in instigating such a stupid system.
Then, there's the traffic lights, which change straight from red to green - no amber stage in the middle. This isn't unique here in Australiasia - it's fairly prevalent in lots of places - but it sucks. Firstly, it invariably causes congestion as a result of the inevitable lags that come from drivers being slow to react to the sudden change from one to another without warning - fewer cars pass through the junction before the lights change, leaving more cars stuck behind, more traffic jams, and generally more annoyed drivers. Secondly, it is terrible for people who are desperately trying to figure out where they are going on a map in the brief period while the lights change - at least in England you have the second or two of warning while the amber glows to get ready to go - over here you just look up, see green, and have no idea if you've been holding everyone up for 30 seconds or 3. And invariably some numpty will get over-excited and drop the clutch and stall... more hold ups.
2. Weighing in on the age-old Sydney vs Melbourne debate
Sydney and Melbourne have been arguing with each other over who has the better city for the entirity of Australian history. For me, it's no contest. Sydney has the better climate, one of the most beautiful harbours anywhere in the world (in my experience, only Monte Carlo can challenge its glamour), and draws the headlines and the eyes of the world with its New Year fireworks bonanza... but I'd choose Melbourne any day of the week (with the possible exception of New Year´s Eve).
If you were to personify the two, Sydney would have bleached blonde hair, wear a tank top and designer sunglasses and spend the day prancing around on the beach looking like a prettyboy. Melbourne would probably wear jeans and a shirt but wouldn´t really care anyway - he'd ooze the sort of educated, cultured classiness whose sophistication absconds the need to show off particular assets.
It real terms, Melbourne doesn't have the big showpiece attractions like Sydney´s Harbour Bridge and Opera House - both jaw-dropping bits of architecture. What it does have, however, is a cultural buzz through an abundance of art and sport, and a real eclectic multicultural vibe that you can simply feel in the air, and that just does not exist in the same way in its New South Wales rival. Sydney is without doubt a cool city... but cool as a holiday destination. Melbourne is just cool. Period.
3. Getting screwed by currency
There's nothing that can be done about it, but I've got live with choosing to travel at the worst possible time as a Britisher - particularly in Australia. Sterling has tanked, while the Aussie dollar is running at all time highs, resulting in an exchange rate of A$1.70 or so to the pound. Talk to Aussies and they'll tell you about coming over to the UK and being battered by a 2.5:1 rate... so basically things in Australia have got about 60% more expensive for me for absolutely no reason bar British economic collapse. Things in NZ have been marginally better, but not by much - about a year or so ago it was almost NZ$3 to the pound - my stay saw me getting something around NZ$2.10. I guess it all depends which way you look at it - on one side you should be watching every penny when you're burning cash like a anarchist terrorist with a wodge of greenback... but on the flipside a few extra quid doesn't make all that much difference when you're spending money left right and centre anyway!
4. Young countries
Coming from England, it takes some time to get used to just how young the modern countries of Australia and New Zealand are. My first year bedroom in Oxford predates the discovery of Australia by Captain Cook by a good 3 centuries or so, and there is no limit of irrelevant bits of paraphenalia you could find in your average English town that would match the century or so age of New Zealand as a country. "History" as a concept is very different - over here you actually get a sense of history changing around you while you are there... which isn't that ridiculous considering every year is not that much of an addition to the respective ages of the nations. But what's really weird is that when you arrive, you smirk when seeing a "historic" building built in 1900... but after 2 months, you feel yourself thinking "wow - that's old!".
5. Rushing around
As I've regularly re-iterated, the last month has been ridiculously hectic and, although I have achieved an unbelieveable amount and got so many amazing memories from such a variety of places spread by such vast distances, there is a price to pay. Since completing "The Last Nizam" (an excellent read for anyone with the slightest interest in India's princely history) on that terrible night in Sydney Airport, I've been reading Che Guevara's "Motorcycle Diaries" - frankly compulsory for anyone heading to South America. One line stood out as soon as I read it though - "we couldn't get to know the city well because we were there only for a few days and were pressed for time with the many things we had to sort out". Travels have made me aware of a skill I didn't know I had, but one that has come in useful - the ability to thoroughly absorb all facets of a town or city in the process of a good few hours walk. However, if Che and Alberto couldn't get to know a city well in a few days, it says something for what I've been forced to sideline when, with the exception of Christchurch, I've spent no longer than 18 hours in any town since Brisbane.
There are probably a whole host of other random things I wanted to say at some stage over the last 2 months that I've totally forgotten and cannot remember now... but this it pretty much good night and good luck to a fantastic couple of countries, neither of whom I had enough time to cover properly, and both of whom I will be visiting again as soon as I am able.
2 months ago I was in Singapore, having kicked off my world tour with 7 weeks in India and getting ready to head Down Under. Anyone following The Daily Rod can probably appreciciate that it has been one hell of a 2 months - pound for pound the busiest, most action-packed time period of my life and, almost certainly, the most expensive. As this chapter of my travels draws to a close though, a few Antipodean reflections and conclusions are surely in order.
1. Driving
Visualizar Gap Year - New Zealand em um mapa maior
As the blue lines in the above map illustrate, I did one hell of a lot of driving in New Zealand. A recent blog covered various aspects of my driving experiences, in particular relation to Kiwis' inabilty to maintain decent speeds around corners, but there are other more general oddities to be beheld when cruising around their streets. Most strange is a law that bans parking on the wrong side of the street - that is parking your car facing forwards on the right side of the road (i.e. against the direction of traffic). Admittedly with so few people and so few cars, lack of parking space isn't a massive issue, but the rationale of "this law was introduced to prevent many accidents that take place" is pretty galling - a better idea would be to teach drivers to use their mirrors/eyes/generally look where they're going and save yourself a lot of hassle. The fact that the above quote was from an official note that was placed on my windscreen in Fox Glacier - a town with a population of about 100, on a street with about 10 cars parked on it, says more than enough about the resources being wasted in instigating such a stupid system.
Then, there's the traffic lights, which change straight from red to green - no amber stage in the middle. This isn't unique here in Australiasia - it's fairly prevalent in lots of places - but it sucks. Firstly, it invariably causes congestion as a result of the inevitable lags that come from drivers being slow to react to the sudden change from one to another without warning - fewer cars pass through the junction before the lights change, leaving more cars stuck behind, more traffic jams, and generally more annoyed drivers. Secondly, it is terrible for people who are desperately trying to figure out where they are going on a map in the brief period while the lights change - at least in England you have the second or two of warning while the amber glows to get ready to go - over here you just look up, see green, and have no idea if you've been holding everyone up for 30 seconds or 3. And invariably some numpty will get over-excited and drop the clutch and stall... more hold ups.
2. Weighing in on the age-old Sydney vs Melbourne debate
Sydney and Melbourne have been arguing with each other over who has the better city for the entirity of Australian history. For me, it's no contest. Sydney has the better climate, one of the most beautiful harbours anywhere in the world (in my experience, only Monte Carlo can challenge its glamour), and draws the headlines and the eyes of the world with its New Year fireworks bonanza... but I'd choose Melbourne any day of the week (with the possible exception of New Year´s Eve).
If you were to personify the two, Sydney would have bleached blonde hair, wear a tank top and designer sunglasses and spend the day prancing around on the beach looking like a prettyboy. Melbourne would probably wear jeans and a shirt but wouldn´t really care anyway - he'd ooze the sort of educated, cultured classiness whose sophistication absconds the need to show off particular assets.
It real terms, Melbourne doesn't have the big showpiece attractions like Sydney´s Harbour Bridge and Opera House - both jaw-dropping bits of architecture. What it does have, however, is a cultural buzz through an abundance of art and sport, and a real eclectic multicultural vibe that you can simply feel in the air, and that just does not exist in the same way in its New South Wales rival. Sydney is without doubt a cool city... but cool as a holiday destination. Melbourne is just cool. Period.
3. Getting screwed by currency
There's nothing that can be done about it, but I've got live with choosing to travel at the worst possible time as a Britisher - particularly in Australia. Sterling has tanked, while the Aussie dollar is running at all time highs, resulting in an exchange rate of A$1.70 or so to the pound. Talk to Aussies and they'll tell you about coming over to the UK and being battered by a 2.5:1 rate... so basically things in Australia have got about 60% more expensive for me for absolutely no reason bar British economic collapse. Things in NZ have been marginally better, but not by much - about a year or so ago it was almost NZ$3 to the pound - my stay saw me getting something around NZ$2.10. I guess it all depends which way you look at it - on one side you should be watching every penny when you're burning cash like a anarchist terrorist with a wodge of greenback... but on the flipside a few extra quid doesn't make all that much difference when you're spending money left right and centre anyway!
4. Young countries
Coming from England, it takes some time to get used to just how young the modern countries of Australia and New Zealand are. My first year bedroom in Oxford predates the discovery of Australia by Captain Cook by a good 3 centuries or so, and there is no limit of irrelevant bits of paraphenalia you could find in your average English town that would match the century or so age of New Zealand as a country. "History" as a concept is very different - over here you actually get a sense of history changing around you while you are there... which isn't that ridiculous considering every year is not that much of an addition to the respective ages of the nations. But what's really weird is that when you arrive, you smirk when seeing a "historic" building built in 1900... but after 2 months, you feel yourself thinking "wow - that's old!".
5. Rushing around
As I've regularly re-iterated, the last month has been ridiculously hectic and, although I have achieved an unbelieveable amount and got so many amazing memories from such a variety of places spread by such vast distances, there is a price to pay. Since completing "The Last Nizam" (an excellent read for anyone with the slightest interest in India's princely history) on that terrible night in Sydney Airport, I've been reading Che Guevara's "Motorcycle Diaries" - frankly compulsory for anyone heading to South America. One line stood out as soon as I read it though - "we couldn't get to know the city well because we were there only for a few days and were pressed for time with the many things we had to sort out". Travels have made me aware of a skill I didn't know I had, but one that has come in useful - the ability to thoroughly absorb all facets of a town or city in the process of a good few hours walk. However, if Che and Alberto couldn't get to know a city well in a few days, it says something for what I've been forced to sideline when, with the exception of Christchurch, I've spent no longer than 18 hours in any town since Brisbane.
There are probably a whole host of other random things I wanted to say at some stage over the last 2 months that I've totally forgotten and cannot remember now... but this it pretty much good night and good luck to a fantastic couple of countries, neither of whom I had enough time to cover properly, and both of whom I will be visiting again as soon as I am able.
Saturday, 2 January 2010
A big omission
KING'S CROSS, SYDNEY - 2nd January 2010
January 2010 looks set to be the most hectic month of my life - 9 days into it I've slept on a bed for a total of 2 nights thanks to a combination of an insane number of overnight bus journeys and my unfortunate tendency to turn up in places that are rammed beyond belief without any sort of bookings. One of the many side effects of this style of travelling is that certain things are forgotten in the old blog - not a problem in general, but definitely something that needs correcting (in the form of a backdated entry) when it involves one of the most amazing experiences of one's life.
Shortly after 11.30am on the 2nd January, I stood atop of Sydney Harbour Bridge, 130 metres above the water, basking in the only 5 minutes of sunshine seen by the city that whole day. The photo of me will appear as soon as I can figure out how to download it off their website (UPDATE: see below!)
The Harbour Bridge climb has only been going since 1998, but the day I went up was the busiest day in their 11-year history thanks to a shift to 5-minute spacing between groups going up. Our group of 12 did what is known as the "Discovery Climb", which takes you up to the very top of the top arch of the bridge via in interior arch - giving you a proper perspective of the quite ridiculous architectural feat the bridge represents. Built in the 1930s as, amongst other more practical reasons, a way of injecting a massive fiscal stimulus into an economy that was collapsing under the weight on the Great Depression, the bridge was built for either side simultaneously - two massive structures floating in mid-air over the water held in place by thousands of steel cables buried 25 metres under the ground on land either side. In under 2 years the two sides met in the middle, thus supporting each other's weight, and 75 odd years later the Bridge has been declared fit to stand for eternity (given proper maintenance).
The climb is just awesome. You're walking up the side of a huge chunk of metal, with the crisp blue water of the Harbour getting progressively further away below you every step you take towards the summit. The celebrated view looking down to the Opera House is indeed as fantastic as everyone suggests - equal to the feeling of standing on the tiny little gangway that adjoins the two sides of the bridge right in the middle - you are standing with nothing but an inch of steel mesh separating you from 6 lanes of highway traffic 90 metres below. Awesome.
Before doing the climb, I went for an early morning walk back to the Botanic Gardens to get the cheeky "Back the Bid" photo you see above, and after the walk managed to hop over to Bondi for a quick dip in what is widely (and quite fairly) acclaimed to be the the most over-rated beach in Australia. Overrated maybe, but I can still say I've been for a swim on Bondi Beach!
January 2010 looks set to be the most hectic month of my life - 9 days into it I've slept on a bed for a total of 2 nights thanks to a combination of an insane number of overnight bus journeys and my unfortunate tendency to turn up in places that are rammed beyond belief without any sort of bookings. One of the many side effects of this style of travelling is that certain things are forgotten in the old blog - not a problem in general, but definitely something that needs correcting (in the form of a backdated entry) when it involves one of the most amazing experiences of one's life.
Shortly after 11.30am on the 2nd January, I stood atop of Sydney Harbour Bridge, 130 metres above the water, basking in the only 5 minutes of sunshine seen by the city that whole day. The photo of me will appear as soon as I can figure out how to download it off their website (UPDATE: see below!)
The Harbour Bridge climb has only been going since 1998, but the day I went up was the busiest day in their 11-year history thanks to a shift to 5-minute spacing between groups going up. Our group of 12 did what is known as the "Discovery Climb", which takes you up to the very top of the top arch of the bridge via in interior arch - giving you a proper perspective of the quite ridiculous architectural feat the bridge represents. Built in the 1930s as, amongst other more practical reasons, a way of injecting a massive fiscal stimulus into an economy that was collapsing under the weight on the Great Depression, the bridge was built for either side simultaneously - two massive structures floating in mid-air over the water held in place by thousands of steel cables buried 25 metres under the ground on land either side. In under 2 years the two sides met in the middle, thus supporting each other's weight, and 75 odd years later the Bridge has been declared fit to stand for eternity (given proper maintenance).
The climb is just awesome. You're walking up the side of a huge chunk of metal, with the crisp blue water of the Harbour getting progressively further away below you every step you take towards the summit. The celebrated view looking down to the Opera House is indeed as fantastic as everyone suggests - equal to the feeling of standing on the tiny little gangway that adjoins the two sides of the bridge right in the middle - you are standing with nothing but an inch of steel mesh separating you from 6 lanes of highway traffic 90 metres below. Awesome.
Before doing the climb, I went for an early morning walk back to the Botanic Gardens to get the cheeky "Back the Bid" photo you see above, and after the walk managed to hop over to Bondi for a quick dip in what is widely (and quite fairly) acclaimed to be the the most over-rated beach in Australia. Overrated maybe, but I can still say I've been for a swim on Bondi Beach!
Friday, 1 January 2010
New Year - Sydney style
KING'S CROSS, SYDNEY, NEW SOUTH WALES - 1st January 2010
Happy New Year! I can happily report that Sydney's famous Harbour Bridge fireworks display is indeed as spectacular as it is bigged up to be - at 12 minutes in length it involves a quite remarkable quantity of exploding metal, and the choreography around the Bridge and the Opera House is pretty awesome.
The hours leading up to midnight were fairly eventful, although not in the sort of way I would have chosen. My Greyhound coach arrived at Central Station on schedule at 11am, and I walked over to the Meriton where Neil, a friend from Pembroke, was booked in (as getting accommodation here over New Year is next-to-impossible, I'd happily taken up his offer of the floor). After several attempts to call his room with no one picking up, and knowing he'd lost his mobile, I left my bags in the luggage room at reception and - armed with the trusty LPG - went exploring around the central area of town - checked out the impressive architecture of the Town Hall and St. Andrew's Cathedral next door to it, as well as the Queen Victoria Building shopping mall - a place so lavish and historical it would do well to be in Knightsbridge or Mayfair in London. Working my way north, I took in the vast facade of the General Post Office at No.1 Martin Place - complete with gargoyles and the imposing statue of Queen Vic - and over at Macquarie Place the cannon and anchor from HMS Sirius, the leading ship of the First Fleet that arrived in Sydney on the 18th January 1788 to establish the first convict settlement.
It was about here that things got interesting. Firstly, the heavens had opened - it goes without saying that when you're walking around a city miles away from your things, and with nowhere to change even if you could get to your clothes, rain is about as welcome as Barack Obama at a KKK Convention. The weather was a side-issue, however, shadowing the more pressing matter that arose when I checked facebook on my mobile and discovered a message from Neil saying that he was now flying back to LA early morning on the 1st, and had therefore checked out... leaving me high and dry (but, ironically, rather wet)!
A few quick phonecalls were made, and soon I was on my way to King's Cross - the backpacker-dominated precinct to the east of the main city centre - where Becca, another Pembroke friend is crashing in an apartment with friends she's made travelling around Australia. Awkward introductions were made, stories of travelling traded, and a few hours later we were all marching off to Rushcutters Bay with a picnic of sandwiches, pasta, crisps and wine (of a particularly cheap, nasty variety), to get ourselves a nice spot to watch the fireworks.
Rushcutters Bay was an excellent find by one of Becca's friends - it's far enough from the main centre that it isn't rammed, and anyone looking at it on a map would assume that the view of the Bridge is blocked by the peninsulas in front of it - but in fact you have a perfect view of the Bridge and the whole city away to the left - allowing you to see all the fireworks at once. We had a preview at 9pm, with the inaugural "Children's fireworks display", but the real deal at midnight was, well, the real deal - as the video below illustrates!
From there it was out to Kings Cross' bars - a typically messy affair - and this morning was not particularly enjoyable. However, with time in Australia running out I forced some productivity out of myself, and went for a long walk around the Botanical Gardens, which provide the best view of the Opera House and Bridge at once, and all the way around the Bay to the Opera House itself. I'll be back again tomorrow to climb the Bridge!
On the way back, and in serious need of some food to settle my stomach, I strayed across a fairly nondescript portable van next to the naval docks at Woolloomooloo (another addition to the "places with ridiculous names" collection), which turns out to be a place of some legend. Harry's Cafe de Wheels have been serving their "Tiger" pies, complete with mash and peas, since 1945, and the walls of the van are adorned with photographs of all sorts of celebrity customers, ranging from Pamela Anderson to Frank Sinatra to Sir Richard Branson. The place is definitely worth a visit, but at the very least the history is worth a read.
Photos... well they'll turn up eventually.
The DAILY ROD's Top Travel Tips:
#10 - The dictum "Beer before wine? Fine. Wine before beer? Oh dear" exists for a reason.
Happy New Year! I can happily report that Sydney's famous Harbour Bridge fireworks display is indeed as spectacular as it is bigged up to be - at 12 minutes in length it involves a quite remarkable quantity of exploding metal, and the choreography around the Bridge and the Opera House is pretty awesome.The hours leading up to midnight were fairly eventful, although not in the sort of way I would have chosen. My Greyhound coach arrived at Central Station on schedule at 11am, and I walked over to the Meriton where Neil, a friend from Pembroke, was booked in (as getting accommodation here over New Year is next-to-impossible, I'd happily taken up his offer of the floor). After several attempts to call his room with no one picking up, and knowing he'd lost his mobile, I left my bags in the luggage room at reception and - armed with the trusty LPG - went exploring around the central area of town - checked out the impressive architecture of the Town Hall and St. Andrew's Cathedral next door to it, as well as the Queen Victoria Building shopping mall - a place so lavish and historical it would do well to be in Knightsbridge or Mayfair in London. Working my way north, I took in the vast facade of the General Post Office at No.1 Martin Place - complete with gargoyles and the imposing statue of Queen Vic - and over at Macquarie Place the cannon and anchor from HMS Sirius, the leading ship of the First Fleet that arrived in Sydney on the 18th January 1788 to establish the first convict settlement.
It was about here that things got interesting. Firstly, the heavens had opened - it goes without saying that when you're walking around a city miles away from your things, and with nowhere to change even if you could get to your clothes, rain is about as welcome as Barack Obama at a KKK Convention. The weather was a side-issue, however, shadowing the more pressing matter that arose when I checked facebook on my mobile and discovered a message from Neil saying that he was now flying back to LA early morning on the 1st, and had therefore checked out... leaving me high and dry (but, ironically, rather wet)!
A few quick phonecalls were made, and soon I was on my way to King's Cross - the backpacker-dominated precinct to the east of the main city centre - where Becca, another Pembroke friend is crashing in an apartment with friends she's made travelling around Australia. Awkward introductions were made, stories of travelling traded, and a few hours later we were all marching off to Rushcutters Bay with a picnic of sandwiches, pasta, crisps and wine (of a particularly cheap, nasty variety), to get ourselves a nice spot to watch the fireworks.
Rushcutters Bay was an excellent find by one of Becca's friends - it's far enough from the main centre that it isn't rammed, and anyone looking at it on a map would assume that the view of the Bridge is blocked by the peninsulas in front of it - but in fact you have a perfect view of the Bridge and the whole city away to the left - allowing you to see all the fireworks at once. We had a preview at 9pm, with the inaugural "Children's fireworks display", but the real deal at midnight was, well, the real deal - as the video below illustrates!
From there it was out to Kings Cross' bars - a typically messy affair - and this morning was not particularly enjoyable. However, with time in Australia running out I forced some productivity out of myself, and went for a long walk around the Botanical Gardens, which provide the best view of the Opera House and Bridge at once, and all the way around the Bay to the Opera House itself. I'll be back again tomorrow to climb the Bridge!
On the way back, and in serious need of some food to settle my stomach, I strayed across a fairly nondescript portable van next to the naval docks at Woolloomooloo (another addition to the "places with ridiculous names" collection), which turns out to be a place of some legend. Harry's Cafe de Wheels have been serving their "Tiger" pies, complete with mash and peas, since 1945, and the walls of the van are adorned with photographs of all sorts of celebrity customers, ranging from Pamela Anderson to Frank Sinatra to Sir Richard Branson. The place is definitely worth a visit, but at the very least the history is worth a read.
Photos... well they'll turn up eventually.
The DAILY ROD's Top Travel Tips:
#10 - The dictum "Beer before wine? Fine. Wine before beer? Oh dear" exists for a reason.
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