Blessing of Graves

MANGALORE, KARNATAKA - 3rd November 2009

In 21 years, this is the first time I have left England in the months of October or November - months that co-incide with a whole host of festivities/celebrations in India. Things like Diwali and pretty well known, but here in Mangalore with its massive Catholic influence, there are certain Christian traditions that are pretty special over here.

Sunday, the 1st November, is one of them - the annual blessing of graves on All Saints Day - the eve of All Souls Day. You can't really say you "like graveyards", but in what is probably another facet of Mangalore feeling like home, the graveyard behind Milagres Church has always seemed like another sort of home - a place where all my family - both my Mum's and Dad's - are buried going back countless years; a place that, in the words of one of my aunts, "unites everyone". It is something I've rarely seen in the UK - probably because families move far and wide so there's no real concept of "home"... but Mangalore is in many ways a very insular town (/city) - particularly among the Catholic community.

Anyway, just before sunset on the 1st November, all the families of the Departed gather around the graves of their family members - the graves themselves are adorned with flowers, candles, and petals and whole families will gather together around their common stones. For us, we gathered around the grave of my maternal grandfather, although I was also able to be present at my paternal grandparents' grave a little way across the graveyard. The whole place is full of people - the vast majority of graves have at least someone around them - and after some introductory prayers, several priests process between graves, blessing them and scattering holy water.

Every year on the 1st November, my Mum has always told me about the Blessing of Graves back home, and what a beautiful ceremony it is; naturally my imagination formed some sort of vision of what to expect. Nevertheless, being part of it first-hand is something that cannot be described fully with words. The graveyard itself is lit up, shining like a beacon in the surrounding afterglow of sunset, and in among the immaculately maintained footpaths and flowerbeds hundreds of people move among glistening tombs, assembling together around a common family member. After some initial prayers from the Parish Priest, several priests disperse among the graveyard, each sprinkling Holy Water over the graves in their designated area, their movements followed by the background echo of a choir.

It is something that has to be experienced to be appreciated, but there are few things that make a family, regardless of circumstance, feel closer together than when united in love and memory, alongside a whole community of friends doing the same. It is something very special in Mangalore - there aren't many other places that have the same Catholic heritage but equally have families that have remained true to their roots - even those that have spread far and wide invariably return.